84-Days and Not a Day More!
Health & Wellness

84-Days and Not a Day More

And my count began again last week. Currently, 12 days and counting. 🙂

~This was originally posted on Gals Pushin’ 50~

I just spent the past 84-days walking on eggshells, being very cautious, observing all the signs, and praying there would be more days to continue my journey.

No, I wasn’t doing any of that because of the United States Presidential Election. 😉

84-Days and Not a Day More! I'm talking about Shark Week. You may know it better as "Aunt Flo", "Cousin Red", "Red Tide", "Surfing the Crimson Wave", or "Ride the Cotton Pony". At 48-years old, I'm anxiously awaiting the day that I can chunk all those maxi and mini pads, pantyliners, tampons, and Midol! And I thought I was well on my way.

I’m talking about Shark Week. You may know it better as “Aunt Flo”, “Cousin Red”, “Red Tide”, “Surfing the Crimson Wave”, or “Ride the Cotton Pony”.

At 48-years old, I’m anxiously awaiting the day that I can chunk all those maxi and mini pads, pantyliners, tampons, and Midol!

And I thought I was well on my way.

However, to my dismay, Sunday came along and I began spotting.

“Oh hell.”

For a moment there, I thought it would just be a bit of spotting and be done with it. But as I laid in bed watching ultimate shamers on Shameless (Showtime), I realized I was very mistaken. My dream path of progressing towards the final curtain on Shark Week, can to a drastic halt.

But it didn’t stop there

Not only did the floodgates of hell open up in the blink of an eye, someone (probably some liberal) was kicking me in my gut. Rummaging through my medicine cabinet looking for anything to ease the gut-wrenching assault on my viscera.

Voila!

My favorite bottle of “take a few now” with a gallon of water and still feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. There really has to be a better remedy than this! Let me see what I can remember:

  • Ibuprofen
  • Vicodin
  • Soak in a bath
  • Heating pad
  • Bottle of Vodka or Whiskey
  • Smoke a few joints

Oh yeah, these are all things I can do AND go to work. NOT! Well, I guess one out of six isn’t too bad.

Feeling like the Pillsbury Dough Boy

Ransacking my closet for comfy, yet work appropriate clothes were just not on my agenda. I settled for a work shirt and loose jeans. Oh, why didn’t I just decide to stay home and lay around in diapers? At least no one, other than the furkids, would have bothered my while I sat on my throne for hours on end.

84-Days and Not a Day More! I'm talking about Shark Week. You may know it better as "Aunt Flo", "Cousin Red", "Red Tide", "Surfing the Crimson Wave", or "Ride the Cotton Pony". At 48-years old, I'm anxiously awaiting the day that I can chunk all those maxi and mini pads, pantyliners, tampons, and Midol! And I thought I was well on my way.

Like surviving 8-years of Obama in the White House, his predecessors, and the upcoming challenge of enduring 4-years of a Donald Trump leadership.

I can do this!

Time to face the music

Apparently, my lady bits are not ready to succumb to Menopause yet. I need to accept this, just as I’ve accepted the obnoxious world of Politics in the U.S. and the need for Americans to destroy one another. It’s not something that I accept willingly, however, until I find a Power that is higher than the Government itself, Shark Week will continue in my life as it deems necessary.

No matter how hard we want to control everything in our lives, we simply can’t. There are authorities that will never give in to our wishes. We simply need to ride it out and wait for Change to happen.

When I resume counting once again, I’m hoping that I can at least push past the 84-day milestone and rejoice in a new.

Women are survivors

Anyone who can cope with the menacing days, weeks, and months of “Aunt Flo” visiting, can certainly overcome any other obstacles we may encounter. What doesn’t kill us only makes us that much stronger, right?

My “Peri” friends

What’s the longest you’ve gone without that beloved visit from “Flo”? When she decided to stopover again, was it like the floodgates of hell or a walk in the park?

We’re all ladies on a similar journey, let’s compare notes!

Sane with a Splash of Cray

 

9 thoughts on “84-Days and Not a Day More”

  1. It is so rude to come back. I have hit 9 months 3 times and then wham bam thank you mam it’s back. The last time I ovulated I went to hospital because I was in agony. I was actually afraid I was giving birth to an unknown pregnancy.

  2. Man, I really thought this was it for you gf. I’m sorry. The longest I’ve gone without shark week was 30 days and I pay for it too.

    I can’t wait for menopause and girl if they legalize weed in Texas, Ima light up and forget them cramps! 😉

    Great post gf!

    Cori

  3. Ok…so I had a few months of nothing, except ‘the dread’ was replaced with hot flushes. I had a few months of them and then BAM! ‘The dread’ came back! Then I had three periods in the space of five weeks and now I’ve gone back to nothing but the flushes have returned! And men complain about having to shave!!!

    1. I have to admit in winter I don’t mind the hot flushes, in private but in public people are afraid if they touch me they will disintegrate.

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